Happy birthday my dearest sister!

姐，生日快乐！Thanks for being my strict sister ever since we were young. My parents are busy working, and sis is the one who will take care of me and my younger brother. She taught me the importance of values, and let me realised that we only live once, so choose the right path.

When i was in secondary days, i tend to work part time jobs. As a waitress, to earn pocket moneys, as i never like to take money from parents. (U know they like to nag and ask so much questions, so i rather i earned myself)

Still rem sis once told me, yes, u can work part time, but never neglect ur school work. Study hard, next time u get a stable job. I heed her advice, and i really study hard for my exams and all the way till my o level. So i was always proud of my o level results.

She told me, never mixed with bad friends. (those who smoke and hang out late at nites) We belongs to conservative family backgrounds, and i must say that my parents forbid me from going out with bad influence.

That time i was still young, 14,15 years old. Of course parents and siblings tend to be more protective. I understand their point, although i maybe abit rebellious at that time, but i choose my friends carefully. We all have many friends. Friends have many categories. And i always believe, the type of friends u have, u are the type of person. If your surrounding friends are gamblers, don't tell me u r hoping to become a lawyer. If your surrounding friends are hookers (prostitutes), don't tell me u r nothing near to that. Of course i am talking about in generally. There bound to be people who are great doctors, but his best friend is a loser.

Friends are very important people in our lives too. Those who hold u up when u are down. Those who stand by u when u r alone. When u r wrong, when u cannot realise u r in wrong, real friends scold and slap u until u wake up. Bad bugs only drinks with u, laugh with u. watever u say they surely say "i confirm support u". Talk brainlessly and can only enjoy fun with u. We need friends to be with us, so much tat sometimes we neglect our families, right? Yes, my friends are part of my life. But at the end of the day, people who end the journey with u, are ur families.

Nobody can be perfect. But we can work towards improvement. If u want a change in your life, do something. I envy people who have good parents. Esp dads. Love your parents, wat they say is correct. Trust me, parents won't harm their own children.

9th year of V Day

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. My schedule off day too.. Woke up rather early, coz dearie had plans for the day. Very surprise tat he bought me flowers! haha... not tat he seldom buy, but i already told him don't spend money, esp during v day, surely very ex. I like to guess wat things he is up to, thought we'll be going for ktv, coz the road he's driving makes me think so.

When he exit stevens road, i was thinking, wow... go so far to sing ah? He parked near far east plaza. I don't rem there was a ktv there. Told him i was hungry, he den said we'll eat after singing.

When we get off the car, we were inside Grand Hyatt Hotel. One of the choices when we choose hotels for our wedding day. We walk passed the restaurants, and i was looking at the people who are eating happily.

To my astonish, dearie pulled me inside the restaurant, and told the manager "i had a reservation for two, under Roderick". I was so HAPPY HAPPY :) There were so many different food and desserts. The quality of the food was great. Service was excellent too.

After that we shop at Wisma and Taka. Had been a long time since we came here. Usually we shop at Jurong Point, coz JP had all we want.. Near to us also.. Went cineleisure for movie, Valkyrie, by Tom Cruise. Not bad, but i still prefer Benjamin Buttons.

When we came home, little Princeton was lying inside the baby cot, laugh so loudly when he saw us. Actually, Vday is just like any other day. We had a nice dinner together, just hoping to spend some quality time. 2009 is the 8th year we both said happy Valentine's day to each other. Hope to have the 19th,29th,39th years etc.

Zhenyu, thank you for your patience, love and companion. Though i may not be the most beautiful woman, but i hope to be your ideal wife.

Thank you for your time

Guess alot of people are waiting for me to update my blog. Those who are sincere, really concern for me and my family, i thanked you so much so much. Really appreciate ur msg and call. Thank you for spending time reading about me.

Those people tat think i am evil, thank you also. Thank you for wasting your time to read things that would anger u. Anyway, this is the first time i got comment from ppl inside my blog. even though i've got alot of readers. But most of my friends don't leave a comment. So mayb u guys can start leaving comments, i don't mind answering queries.

I don't see the need to clarify some negative things about other's comment,i think people who know me well should know wat type of person i am, and wat shit thing am i going through. Zhenyu is the first person who put me into this deep shit. I must admit that he is a person who is rather honest, naive, abit blur too. Told me that i must help him and his parents with all these issue. I agreed, and my inlaws given me the consent to decide for them. Of course, before i make any decision, i always seek their understanding and their approval.

To be truthful, i must be frank that at times i would get fed up with my inlaws, esp my MIL. She is the kind that super straight forward, talk without thinking. But wat she said sometimes, are true. Very true. Though sound very awful, but its the fact. Need me to cite an example? better not, later there will be another suicide case.

Now i become the evil person. People scolding me, saying i am evil. Sometimes i think about it, really damn it. As if at the end of the day i would get half of the assets! But to be more positive, i am doing wat i can, to help my inlaws, to help my husband. I don't care wat other says, i just want the flat to be sold, and the parents get half of it, and tats it! My inlaws made things very clear to me. They want to draw the line very clear. Yes i admit i am selfish, y? Coz i hope my inlaws can be financially stable, to be healthy, to be independent. I got to plan things for everybody. Hubby loves his parents alot, and the more i must assured they get wat they deserve.

Luckily, my inlaws are understanding people when i told them they must be insured by insurance. They must be $$ prepared, they are not those parents who will ask money from children.

When we look at things, look further. Don't see things so shallow... so superficial. I am childish, thank you. I am childish enough to ruin my marriage, and to cause my husband death!

公平

人以不在，但父母还在。问问良心，自己反省。
天有眼，人有情。不念在亲情，也为了人情。
你可以再往前走，但我们却永远停留在悲愁。
父母已经很痛心，泪在心里怨自己。
只求快点分到地，不要拖哀又拖悲。
倘若你是真爱他，定要先想他父母。。。

stress up

Too much things to be done. His assets and liabilities... I have so much to say, but not very appropriate to elaborate here. Me as a "da sao", will make the decision. Of course my decision is based on my inlaws. But they won't dealt with all these matters, as these would only upset them more. So they leave it to me and zhenyu.

I appreciate david's friends. They helped us alot.. but there's a line to cross. Help us to clear up the house, etc no problem. But when it comes to sensitive issue, perhaps they can don't try to make decision for us. David's wife, nana, still young.. she is our family, we will take care of her. So pls don't worry, and start giving her "extra" advise.

I will engaged a lawyer to settle all these things, so tat we won't be tired out by all these rubbish. I believe david loves nana alot, just hope he'll like the way we planned.

There are simply too many things to do, and im very upset that my colleagues cannot understand my situation. I wanted to take leave yesterday, they aso don't allow. Said whoever is off so i got to come back. Hello, get clear on the situation, i got a dead issue to handle, i'm not in the condition to work! I really wish to quit this shit bank job. Hate the people there. But wat to do, i need money for my dream. This job really sucks.

Grief stricken days

Those who are closer to me should know this bad news by now. I did not tell many people, coz the more i said the more sorrowful i feel. Never thought i got to go through these again, ever since my dad passed away in 2003.

My bro in law david was missing for so many days. We were shocked to found him dead inside his flat on the 2nd of feb at 8.30pm. The whole story was too long and too sad for me to note down here. I cannot take it whenever i thought of the moment. Though me and zhenyu are not close to david, but neither are we in bad terms. Just normal... due to the different characters we have, the different thinking, zhenyu and zhenxiang are not very close.

I got to stay strong for zhenyu, he really need my support now. My inlaws, esp my father in law, cannot take it. Some more he just had his operation. There is nothing much we can do about david's death now. Got to get over soon... i can't even work today.. Went to the bank, work halfway, breakdown crying. Took halfday off and came home.

Now that david passed all his burden to us, and choosen the selfish way, i'm feeling very stressful now. Hate him alot, and at the same time i miss him so much. I always like to nag at him, and now, there is no more chance for me to do so. Just pray that God will forgive him, and hope he knew tat both me and zhenyu had forgiven him.

Goodbye ah heng.

Missing In Action

First day of the week. Thank God, smooth and nice day :) Though somebody still never talk to me, but i'm used to it. Anyway who cares? So happy tat i can off work at 6pm today, coz my manager went for meeting, hee... no debrief. But tmr she'll have meeting with us. Super sian, most likely 8pm den can go home. Hubby came to fetch me for dinner as usual, after tat we went home straight.

Missed my Princeton so much. I think of him the whole day.. when we reached home, he was having his fish porridge. When he saw me, he so delighted and he tried to call me! Wonder when can he really call me "mummy"?

Last nite we spend time with my mum, sis and siyong. Had a gd time together at Parkway parade and at sis's house. My MIL called zhenyu, asked him where is david (my bro in law aka zhenyu's younger bro). He had been missing for three days. Missing means no news of him at all. His parents even tried to call some of his friends but none of them knew his whereabouts. I told zhenyu, he must be sleeping so din on his hp. Last nite, zhenyu went over his brother's house and knocked at the door. There was no response at all... he went to the car park, and saw his car was there. This is weird.... we thought mayb he went to genting. But usually he would drove to genting. Today is the 4th day he is missing. I'm getting worried.... and of course angry too. An adult already, still play this kind of MIA game.

Later we'll go over his house again... tis time will knock even harder. Really scared something will happen. I keep my finger crossed.