My theory is simple. Earn money is to spend. What's the point keeping everything in the bank. We are not going to bring it inside the coffin. Spend doesn't mean to be spendthrift, save doesn’t mean to be a miser. We likes to spend on good food, to buy new and nice clothes for the children. We invest on enrichment program for them, and of course self teach at home is a must. I do my sums well, and hubby have faith in me to take care of his financial fully. 2012 will be a very challenging year for me. I really hope ‘the rush here rush there thingy will be paid off one day’. Paris will be having her phonics in March. An hour per lesson, twice a week. Hope I can managed all these, at the same time doing my assignments and group projects. I can let maid and mum to bring them for the classes. But my mentality is still, I’ll depends on myself. Even though next time when I return to workforce. I will still arrange in a way, I’ll drop them at childcare before I go to work. And will pick them up in time after I off work. If I really can’t make it, then my mum will help me. Mum and maid are our choices, we must be glad and appreciate our Choices. But sad to say, people tend to abuse it, and over-rely on them.
My inlaws kept suggesting, when Princeton gets older, he can come over their place to stay overnight. I agreed! And the next morning, they will bring him for exercise and to shop around:) This will be a great bonding between grandparents and the Lil Ps. And perhaps when that moment comes, i can spend more time alone with hubby.
But at the current lifestyles, many parents are leaving their children at the grandparents place, and occasionally bring them home. They are doing it a totally opposite way. And this is very wrong. Old folks may think it is perfectly OK, but we as the child parents should know when to draw a line.
This is no joke, and the consequences are very serious. Children should be close to grandparents, but not to treat them as PARENTS. I known people who leave their children at Nanny house, until the children doesn’t want to go home, and prefer the nanny more than the own parents. Because the parents thought that it’s OK when they grow up, they will understand, or the kids will come back to them. In the end, they lost the children. Perhaps they still bring them out to play once a week. Or to dine with them once a week. But deep inside their heart, they had lost the child forever.
People who have maids, not so bad. Bcoz maid eventually will leave the country. For parents, parents inlaw, or nannies, tend to be very tricky. Once you don’t bring it back to track, then you will suffer the consequences.
Everyone’s threshold is different. There are people who delivered naturally, they go through the pain and push. There are people who gone through Cesarean, doesn’t mean they don’t go through any pain. Infact the pain is 10 times worst. Especially those unlucky ones like me, last minute Cesarean, after going though 10 hours contractions still no dilation at all. So there’s no such thing as choosing an easy way out. People who opt for c section, doesn’t mean they want to choose an easy way out.
Just like people who leave their children at Parent’s house. Does that means they also wants to choose an easy way out?? To throw the child at Parents house, so that they can sleep well at night, or to stay at home and do their house chores? As I said, Everyone’s threshold is different. All jobs are tiring. ALL. It’s up to individual threshold to take care of the child at night when they off work. So, if we are really exhausted, it is OK to ask for help. Perfectly FINE. But not to make it so often that Parents are obligated to help. And if Parents can’t, we become unhappy. Think back again, the child belongs to WHO?
People like me, we have alternatives. So let’s be thankful and appreciate our helpers, be it maid or parent. Positive mindsets please... especially to Parents, because they don’t owe us anything. Infact we owed their help, FOREVER.
