Quality time with the lil Ps

Hubby had overnight duty today... gotten used to it, 3-4times a month he couldn't be at home. In the past even worse, 2-3weeks sailing. Although 2 years later, he still need to be back in ship, so we would treasure the time he stay onshore.

Mum wasn't at home, maid busy washing dishes and clothes. I was playing crazily with the lil ones. Singing and dancing with them, playing hide and seek too!! Paris can hide like her korkor now, the scene is so hilarious!! Got to video it someday, haha! Princeton was hiding under the table, and Paris was trying to squeeze in too. No much space left my dear!

The sister is getting very naughty and rough... She bite her brother last night when Tian was hugging her by pinning her down. hmm... I didn't scold xin, instead i told Tian don't pin down meimei next time, she don't like it. She's young, she don't know. I did this, because i wanted the brother to understand that, Paris is young, as a brother we should give way to her, and try to accommodate her:p You are a big brother, you are sensible, and you understand that biting is wrong. Tian stop crying and said, yes i am good boy, i very strong, no pain! Meimei you very naughty! Then he continued playing with her. If i were to scold Paris, and beat her in the first place, Princeton will remember this routine, and whenever Paris do wrong thing, he will want me to beat her sister, then there will be no love between the siblings. Because he will then enjoy his sister being punished.

I tried my best to give both of them equally attention. Daytime, i would spend quality time with my daughter, by reading her a book, bringing her out, or simply just watch her favourite dvd with her. Evening when Princeton is back from school, i'll bath him, have dinner with him, and practise whatever he is knee to learn (puzzles, storytelling, drawing) Paris will self comfort in her playzone, if not mum or maid will accompany her. Night time, the 3 of us will have playtime together:) Hubby will join in if he is still awake. This is the my SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) everyday.

I got a bad experience from unfair treatment when i was young. Parents being biased:( People who are closed to me would even pity/sympathize me. Pathetic right?? Middle child syndrome:( Extra girl, why not a boy, not as clever, very naughty, not as obedient, whatever you can think of. Yes, sad to say, i belonged to that category. Of course, now i understand my parent's difficulties, the hardship my mum went through, all these indirectly added to my misery. i despised Parents who took favouritism. If you cannot give equal love, then don't give birth to them in the first place. So zhenyu and i always remind each other, never be a biased dad/mum. Even my pil love Tian more for example, i also cannot neglect Tian and out all my love to Xin. But in real case, my fil dote xin more and mil pamper Tian more. My mum appeared to be very equally, both are their precious.

If one person thinks that you are biased, maybe that person is wrong. If 10 people thinks the same way, we should stop finding excuses, and do some reflection. Initially, whenever I'm back from school, i would always call out for Princeton. "Tian Tian mummy is back!!!" My mum would comment, eh, you only remember your son huh? From that moment, i realised my mistakes, my wrong. I felt very sorry, and told myself that i must balance my attention.

当局者迷，旁观者清,  those closely involved cannot see as clearly as those outside. So when relatives/close friends gave me feedbacks, or even better, tell me straight, i am very glad and thankful. Because sometimes i lost my directions. Or at times if i got too stubborn, please scold me and help to wake me up. Don't smile smile infront of me, and mocked behind my back:(  I can be very blunt, very frank. When i said it's wrong, IT IS WRONG. Because there were at least 10 people shaking their head and waiting to see more wrong things happening. So be thankful when we get to hear nasty true stuffs.

We don't make things right to show others. But at least we heed advise, and we try to rectify. I'm disappointed to see till now Princeton boy still suffered from serious separation anxiety:( It's partly my fault, as i give in everything to him right from the beginning. Whenever he cry, i'll go to him. Whenever he wants me to carry, i'll carry him, as long he keep quiet. I tried all ways to explain to him, to assure him that mummy is here, don't be scared, don't cry etc. Once he wake up, i must be beside him. If i bath till halfway, doomed. I cannot poo, i cannot pee. I can only fart.

Zhenyu told me don't care, let him cry all he wants. We tried that before too! He cried till lost his voice, then started coughing. Beat him worse, he cry till vomit. How??? But when i give in to him, carry him 10mins, coax him sit down for breakfast, make him laughed, after that he will be OK. But at times, I'll get frustrated too! Bath half way, heard him crying badly. I continuing bathing, by then i got to him, he is already so breathless:(

I did my research for this kind of situation and found out that, the child might got bad dreams, or uneasy imagination, or they might not have enough sleep.They need our comfort and assurance. We need to constantly explain to the child that everything is OK, and try counting down with them that bad dreams are over. I would follow and try my best to make him feel safe. It's absurd as he is already a grown toddler.

Tomorrow i'll be bringing Paris to explore new gyms! The one at UE Square had high recommendation. I must make sure of my free time now, to bring my children out for fun:)